Emotional Intelligence The Key To Sustaining Relationships

As agents of change, relationships become an important part of the work.  Without relationships it becomes very hard to influence others to change.  It seems very intuitive when you say it, but sometimes it is forgotten.

RelatinshipEQ_SkillsIQDuring a class that discusses the importance of having open and honest relationships, the graphic to the left was shown.

At the start, it is your knowledge and skills about the subject (Skills/IQ) that creates the foundation of the relationship.  If you prove to the person you know what you are doing, it creates a foundation of trust.

As the relationship progresses over time, it becomes less about your knowledge.  You have proven overtime the skills and knowledge to the other person.  Now it becomes about understanding the other person and what makes them tick (Emotional Intelligence/EQ).  Keeping the connection while still having open and honest conversations becomes the skill that helps create more and more influence as time moves forward.

I heard this and took the time to reflect on my own relationships.  I found this to be true.  My skills have gotten my “foot in the door” with people and then once my knowledge was established then it become about how I could connect with the person on a one-on-one level.

As you think about your relationships, do you find this to be true?  What are your thoughts?

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Posted on May 9, 2013, in Communication, People and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. I find this to be very true. I often say “my staff does have to like me but they have to respect me”. A relationship based on mutal trust is the connerstone for any progessive endevor in a team environment.

  2. Hi Matt

    You have got it very right in the beginning all you really need is the skills to show you can do a job, but as time goes on you relationship should play a larger and larger role. Unfortunately this doesn’t always happen, and when it does not it leads to conflicts, and problems, and eventually people will leave.

    When people leave only on rare occassions it means this is happening with the managers, and only a few workers are failing at the relationship building part. But when large numbers of people are coming and going it often shows there are no relationships between the managers and those under them. In those situations your best people are often the ones that disappear first, and take most of the better ones with them. After all they have skills that someone else will appreciate.

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